I'm not talking about natural instincts that the good horsemen talk about. No, I'm talking about learning when to fight with her and prove your point and when to stop what you're doing and find another approach. Let's be honest... in her eyes, you're rarely going to be right. And like all strong willed women, she's not going to admit it even when you are.
So, how do we know when she is just being a bully, b*tch, alpha mare (whatever you want to call it) and when you are? When I was mainly riding geldings, I firmly believed that they should listen and do what I told them and that if they didn't it was my job to make them. Did I beat my horses? Of course not! But I did expect them to follow me as their intelligent leader, as long as I had given them the education to be able to. Well, Belle changed that. I still take the fact that I am the leader seriously, but with a different respect. GREAT LEADERS raise their followers up. GREAT LEADERS make sure that their followers have the support they need to be successful. GREAT LEADERS listen to their followers. I realized that I have always been a good leader, but she deserves and demands a GREAT leader. I realized that it was (and still is, more often than I'd like to admit) me who was being the b*tch.
So now that I am on the quest to be the leader that my red mare expects me to be.... how the heck do I balance my fight or flight? Well, I listen to what she has to say. I am a firm believer in the fact that horses who are reactive are actually way more intelligent than we give them credit for. Belle is a hard worker, like most mares are. So when she's spooking, refusing a jump, not letting me catch her, etc. I try to listen before reacting. Is she seeing something that I'm not? Is she uncomfortable in her tack? Does she not understand the question? If she becomes dangerous I do what is necessary to keep myself and her safe, but then I get my brain working s fast as possible to find the root of the problem and create a way for her to be successful in the situation.
Tonight I taught late and ended up having barely enough time to take her for a hack down the road before dark. As we turned down the road that we had ridden down many times before, a runner appeared from around the bend. Now, Belle 110% is a survivor and something in the distance running at us was not only out of the norm, but according to her we were going to be eaten. She has learned to trust me when I tell her not to run, so she immediately grew roots and wouldn't budge. The runner passed us but Belle wouldn't let it go. Adrenaline had started pumping and what was supposed to be an easy hack was going to turn into a fight to just walk forward. It was a fight that wouldn't set her up for success. So I jumped off and visually became her leader. We walked side by side the 1/2 mile to our destination calm, confident and on a loose rein. Once we got to our turn around spot I hopped on (yep she calmly stood still), and we headed home. It was getting dark but since I didn't let anything eat us on the way out, she was confident on the way back. Now, did I really want to walk the 1/2 mile in my clunky winter boots? NO! But I definitely didn't want to fight and I am confident that the next time we head out on a hack she will remember that it was successful and be happy to go.
So, how do we know when she is just being a bully, b*tch, alpha mare (whatever you want to call it) and when you are? When I was mainly riding geldings, I firmly believed that they should listen and do what I told them and that if they didn't it was my job to make them. Did I beat my horses? Of course not! But I did expect them to follow me as their intelligent leader, as long as I had given them the education to be able to. Well, Belle changed that. I still take the fact that I am the leader seriously, but with a different respect. GREAT LEADERS raise their followers up. GREAT LEADERS make sure that their followers have the support they need to be successful. GREAT LEADERS listen to their followers. I realized that I have always been a good leader, but she deserves and demands a GREAT leader. I realized that it was (and still is, more often than I'd like to admit) me who was being the b*tch.
So now that I am on the quest to be the leader that my red mare expects me to be.... how the heck do I balance my fight or flight? Well, I listen to what she has to say. I am a firm believer in the fact that horses who are reactive are actually way more intelligent than we give them credit for. Belle is a hard worker, like most mares are. So when she's spooking, refusing a jump, not letting me catch her, etc. I try to listen before reacting. Is she seeing something that I'm not? Is she uncomfortable in her tack? Does she not understand the question? If she becomes dangerous I do what is necessary to keep myself and her safe, but then I get my brain working s fast as possible to find the root of the problem and create a way for her to be successful in the situation.
Tonight I taught late and ended up having barely enough time to take her for a hack down the road before dark. As we turned down the road that we had ridden down many times before, a runner appeared from around the bend. Now, Belle 110% is a survivor and something in the distance running at us was not only out of the norm, but according to her we were going to be eaten. She has learned to trust me when I tell her not to run, so she immediately grew roots and wouldn't budge. The runner passed us but Belle wouldn't let it go. Adrenaline had started pumping and what was supposed to be an easy hack was going to turn into a fight to just walk forward. It was a fight that wouldn't set her up for success. So I jumped off and visually became her leader. We walked side by side the 1/2 mile to our destination calm, confident and on a loose rein. Once we got to our turn around spot I hopped on (yep she calmly stood still), and we headed home. It was getting dark but since I didn't let anything eat us on the way out, she was confident on the way back. Now, did I really want to walk the 1/2 mile in my clunky winter boots? NO! But I definitely didn't want to fight and I am confident that the next time we head out on a hack she will remember that it was successful and be happy to go.
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