There have been many times where I thought of selling Belle... I had originally bought her as a sales project, but she seemed to light something within me that made me hold on to her much longer than planned. She was more of a project than I had bargained for but I always had this voice, my overly ambitious bleeding heart voice, telling me that she was a special horse. Maybe if I just waited until the end of the year, or "X" amount more months, or until I thought she would be safe with someone else (for her safety more than theirs). And I would stick to the allotted time given to either see the improvement I had talked about or not, and she would always rise to the occasion. First, I just wanted her to finish growing and was willing to wait until that magical 8th year where they generally find their brains (and bodies). At that point she was my #2, so I could happily wait. Second, I wanted to give her a full season of showing (dressage, since jumping created fireworks) to see if she would figure it out. We were scoring well and getting a lot of red ribbons- red ribbons become taunting after a while, FYI- so she stayed a little longer. I really just wanted to get her physically sound before some a*hole didn't listen to her when something was wrong... It took me 4 years but she's finally physically coming into her own. Most smart people wouldn't have held on to a horse for 4 years "waiting" for them to become sound, but that spark she had lit inside of me kept burning. I had come that far, so I wanted to see if she would figure out this jumping thing. After Spot, my show jumping was unconventional to say the least. So I had to spend some time putting my head back in the game before placing all (some) of the blame on her. It took some creativity but she finally stopped exploding after the fences and started to jump. I figured I'd take her to SC and give her a mini boot camp while we couldn't be productive in the muddy tundra in NH. She did well, but her form was funky and she was slow to think. This spring, I decided to give her until September (one year of jumping) to see if she would learn to be an event horse, and if she liked the job. It's now July, and her form still needs polishing. but we are far from being eliminated on the first center line or exploding like it's the 4th of July after the cross rail. The jury is still out on whether she truly wants to play the game or not (fingers crossed she does!) but I'll just keep plugging away at it and see what she says by September.

I have known since I was 8 that I was going to have my own barn and train horses. I kept sight of that goal through teachers saying I couldn't, horses sending me to the ER, and my dad desperately hoping that I'd find a more solid career (you know, one with more benefits than wondering if it's a tan or dirt). Like my time limits for Belle, looking back, I find that I do the same for myself. All of them have been based around that 8 year old's dream. In order to keep my big goal in focus, I'd make small goals for life around that. Things like: "When I can ride Spot in dressage without rearing, we can event". "When Spot can have a second job, I'll focus on Belle". "When I build the barn, I'll have only one job". Or for those who find it their business to ask, "When's the baby coming?" I used to tell them, "after the barn was up". So, for the first time in 21 years, I am left needing to create a new BIG goal to work toward (and to keep those waiting for the baby still waiting!).

I'm currently reading In The Middle Are The Horsemen by Tik Maynard. This book is so open, honest and real, he makes you feel like you're two old friends talking about life over a pint of beer. It is impressive that such an accomplished horseman and rider (yes, I think he deserves both titles separately) is able and willing to be so humble and raw about his "late" entry into such an amazing adventure. He writes about this burning desire to learn and grow and his journey of continuously realizing that he still doesn't know all there is to know about horses (or himself). Coupled with his story, I have talked with my Working Student and a few of my high school riders about their certainty, or lack there of, of their next chapter. Not having such a solid and vivid goal for the first time in my life is terrifying, yet exciting. I think, like Tik and many of us, I want to learn what I don't know. While I'm not completely certain how I am going to accomplish this, for now I have learned it best from my horses... just keep going forward.

​Last weekend we headed to our 3rd event, ever, at Huntington Farm. She had just spent a week at camp, hacking and jumping far more than flatting, and I hoped her head was still very much so there. I knew she was a little tired, but she's a fit Thoroughbred and the weather looked like it would be kind. She was tense in the dressage warm up, but stayed with me when she thought of fleeing back to the trailer. She tried hard to maintain composure during the test and I appreciated her efforts, after all... we know she can be a fancy prancing pony! XC was put on a major hold due to a broken fence, and later to find out broken collar bone, but she handled the wait well. She warmed up with a little party after the cross rail, then saw the vertical with precision. Once over the oxer and once over the coop and we headed to the start box. She was calm and cool and headed out with confidence. She was much braver on course and felt like she was working hard to remember our homework. I will admit, galloping her is my favorite. Especially down that back stretch through the trees of Huntington. The shade is always a welcomed feeling after galloping through the steamy hay fields and up the hill. There was a little discussion about how she needed to NOT jump the Training level last fence, but we crossed through the finish flags with no major bobbles. I'm not sure who was more thrilled- me or her. Show Jumping warm up was good. She didn't feel tired, more like settled. I trotted fence 1, had a funky line to 2, we both stared at 3 and then we found our mojo at 4. The rest of the course was smooth, like a well practiced dance where I lead but she added the style and flair. We finished with zero penalties. I had no clue where we were in the standings. I had "almost gone for a trail ride" as the dressage judge joked when I almost forgot to circle at C, and trotted lots of the XC course so I had assumed that my time knocked us out of the ribbons. I was fine with that, I was here to build confidence so the day was a victory to me. As they were pinning the division, I headed back toward the trailer. They were up to 4th now and still hadn't called my number, so it seemed safe to go untack. Then they called 3rd, then 2nd "Number 94, Emily Tasker on Bellatariat". Wait, WHAT? Oh shoot! I re tightened my girth, wrapped my running attachment around my breastplate a second time and had Bryan help me hop on. We trotted like the hot-mess-express into the ring for our victory gallop. I couldn't help but laugh at how surreal it all was. My, once, wild red dragon earned a ribbon in her 3rd event! 

 Last week Belle and I headed to GMHA for me to be an instructor at their Junior Horsemanship Clinic. For those of you who don't know what this is... it's a magical place nestled in the Green Mountains where ponies and their kids take over for a little over a week. Honestly, it's pretty amazing! There were 71 campers (and their horses) and 18 staff. Yes, you read that right... there were about 4 kiddos per adult and very few shenanigans.

​​Between 7 instructors, all campers rode twice a day in small groups. So, that means that I got to teach new riders for 6 hours a day. We do our best to match the skill levels in the group but they all come from different backgrounds so we get to focus on slightly more general topics and use exercises that teach their own lessons. At first, the riders were frustrated that their horses weren't being perfect and that they couldn't prove that they were the fanciest riders at camp. But when I (and the other instructors) didn't worry at all about their imperfections, they refocused on the lesson plans and the outcome was remarkable! Things stopped being manufactured, hands and elbows became soft, horses relaxed into a regular rhythm, riders started noticing things in other riders, they helped each other sing the alphabet around the jump course, they started feeling instead of forcing, and they all HAD FUN! 

​This camp is such an amazing experience for many reasons, but I think that my favorite is being able to watch some pretty cool transformations in such a short amount of time. One of the riders in my group had never ridden outside of the arena. She was used to riding well behaved Hunter ponies who wouldn't dream of taking a wrong step and she had borrowed a super awesome eventing pony for this camp. Now, all of us eventers know that our horses love this sport just as much as we do and part of the reason we all do it is to gallop at jumps. This rider not only got to learn to control her eventing machine, but gained the skills and confidence to take her in the field and jump. This rider, along with many others, also started to have more fun with her pony during their down time. Now, I don't know about you but my heart can't help but grow when I see a girl teaching her pony to follow her to jump puddles in the rain. A few of my riders were so serious ((nervous)) at the first lesson that I couldn't tell if they even liked to ride. By the end of the second day they were singing, laughing and cheering each other on and successfully jumping through "The Circle of Death" with one hand on their helmet and both feet out of their stirrups. 

My next favorite part of camp is the group of instructors that all end up moving our horses in to one barn and all living under one roof. So much of the time we are either brushing by each other at shows trying to empower our riders to make it safely through their rounds or riding "against" each other at shows hoping that we get through the rounds. It's really an amazing thing to have such wonderful horsewomen and instructors in one place all focused on the exact same cause and to have time to spend talking about it. There aren't many people in my day to day life who know all of the ins and outs of managing horses, managing their owners, training horses and teaching riders how to feel and handle a living animal. There also aren't many people who eat (microwaveable meals or cereal), sleep and breathe horses with as much passion as me. Not only is it amazing to be able to have "oh yea, me too" moments, it's also amazing that we all have a slightly different way of teaching but are working toward the exact same goal- a happy, healthy, forward and balanced horse. It was so fun for all of us to watch each other teach, hear different phrases and see new exercises.

​​Belle came with me to camp last year and we could barely go for a hack each morning without plenty of friends and lots of spooking. I also could barely jump her over a flower box without having it result in a fiery red explosion. It was also the week when I decided that we were going to event or bust. This week, only one year later, we were going on confident morning walks even over the bridges and through the water all by herself. She jumped all the jumps with such a calm and confident expression. It was so fun to hear the other instructors who were there last year notice how much she has changed and how great she looks. 

The real reason anyone would go to summer horse camp is to have fun. If yours isn't... we can't be friends. I don't care how old you are or how fancy (or not) your pony is, find a way to take some time and have some fun! I know my red mare appreciates it. 

Photo credits to Abby Rowlee Photography!